DEAR ABBY: I am a healthy, single, 76-year-old man. I spend lots of time at a local gym. I met a woman there two years ago, and we went out for coffee. She’s a few years younger than I am. She told me she was married, but it was a “complex” marriage. What started as a friendship morphed into an intimate affair.
We have many common interests and spend as much time as we can together, given the circumstances. I know she will never get divorced. I’ve fallen in love with her, but I have never pressured her to divorce. She has grown children, and she doesn’t want to upset them. I get it. There are also financial considerations and entanglements.
Over the last six months, our relationship has become strained. It has turned into a push-pull type of situation. I know it’s unhealthy for both of us, but I can’t seem to let her go. We’ve come to the brink several times, but we always have talked through it, and we keep limping along. I don’t know how to stop loving her. Even thinking about it causes me great mental distress. I’m looking for suggestions to ease the pain and figure out how to move on. — LOVING A MARRIED WOMAN IN MAINE